so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
