did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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