How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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