dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
