are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
