There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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