Christians are straight up FREAKS
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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