I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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