Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
