We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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