I am puke
I just saw a hot homeless man
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
