The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
