Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
