My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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