Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
they're like a gay fantastic four
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
