I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
