So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
