O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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