Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
