don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
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