honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
