8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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