i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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