How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
