white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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