Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
do nipples grow back?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
