I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
