I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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