guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
