it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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