Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
