Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
