Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
