every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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