upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
