their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
