I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
