I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
