And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
