Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
