dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
