Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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