My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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