theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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