If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
