Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
