were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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