My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
