Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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