I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
