Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I have feelings that need drinking.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
