Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
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