I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
